Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Portfolio: Check!


David Levinson
English 114B
Professor Dinsmore
The “Beginning of the End”: Intro to my Portfolio
            I have reached the end of my first year in college, it is time to turn in my final portfolio for my English 114B class.  I can’t help but reflect on my life this last year.  Last year around this time I was anxious for my graduation, and afraid of how my life might go from that point on.  Then what seemed like a blink of an eye, graduation and grad-night are over, and I graduated from high school.  That’s when the between stage starts, the awkward time cushion between finishing high school and starting college.  Tying loose ends with friends, saying good byes, worries of leaving everything you’ve grown up with behind, and the realization that you are just growing up. 
            Starting college at that point was very hard, commuting via buss to CSUN three days a week for four classes.  Some troubles I had were the buss having only early buss trips, getting to school really early, waiting for my class to start, going to one or two classes a day, after class having to wait for the buss to go home, getting home late.  By the time my first semester was done, I was relieved I was able to take a break from my stressful schedule.  Then second semester came, and I was commuting four times a week, for only three classes.  I was really worn out from that schedule and was so relieved when I found an apartment here in Northridge, very close to the school, and that I was able to afford the rent.  When I moved in I still felt a little stress because now I would be living on my own, but I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders not having to commute anymore.  Plus it was great to be able to sleep in.  Also I felt I could now be more social within the college environment, and participate more in the events on campus. 
            Academics were also very important, and I feel I have learned a lot in all my classes.  Let’s look at my portfolio for this semester now.  In English class this semester, we’ve looked at some very important terms, and explored through many different forms of media these terms to get to understand them better.  To help us think of “Identity” and how we perform “Identity Construction” online, we looked at social media sites such as Facebook and Myspace.  We then moved onto virtual construction of our identities and looked at online games such as Second Life and how we construct our avatars to fit or distract from our identities.  To help us recognize this in very extreme conditions we watched the movie GAMER in which actual people play as “avatars” for other people for money, and we also read the graphic novel The Surrogates in which people live their lives virtually through actual robots which look like real humans.  I wrote a report on this called “RPGs FTW? Maybe Not” on this topic, and discussed how people who play RPGs construct their character to either display their identity, or deter from it.  We learned that location can influence our identities.  To help us understand this, we looked at different locations on campus and then in the world, and discussed the ethnography of those locations.  We read the graphic novel Percepolis to see how young Marjane Satrapi’s identity changed as she grew up moving from one location to another because of Iranian revolution.  After that we read As Nature Made Him a book about a boy who went through a bad circumcision and his parents tried raising him a girl as he grew up thinking he would just grow up a girl.  Through this story we discussed the debate between “Nature vs. Nurture” and talked about the differences between gender and sex, and how they both effect your identity.  For my final essay called “From Rags to Righteous: My Ironic Identity” I looked at my own identity, and how I construct my identity on and offline, and how different locations influence my identity. 
            My identity has changed from the beginning of this semester to the end.  At the beginning of this semester I was commuting, so I probably seemed sluggish at times, but since I’ve started living in Northridge, I have been more active, and more social.  I believe now in class I am known as David the kid who gets a wise crack in every now and then.  That’s exactly the type of Identity I want to have.















David Levinson
English 114B
Professor Dinsmore
RPGs FTW? Maybe Not
It’s always nice to sit down to some nice videogames after a long day of school.  I believe that videogames are a great form of relaxation, and fun, but what happens when people take that too far?  What happens when people get sucked into the game so much that they seem to give up on reality?  What about people who use videogames as a form of a false life, the ones who “live” in game, more then they do in real life?  What about the people who take it a step further, and make a character of the opposite sex, then play as the character instead of as them self?  Videogames aren’t as harmless as some people might think.
Some people play videogames casually and keep a solid grasp on reality, but sometimes others take it too far and give up on reality.  “Second Life” is a great example of this.  “Second Life” is what its title suggests, it is a second life for some.  This game allows you to do just about anything you can do in real life, and then some.  This could be good to help escape from stress and worry every now and then, but when used as artificial living, this is very hazardous.  It’s bad because some people get sucked into this game so much that they have to constantly play or they don’t feel like they are living, and then they lose control of their actual health.  For others, like the disabled, this could be a good thing, because then they can play the game a way they aren’t able to live life, through their “avatar”.
The definition of “Avatar” shown on Wikipedia:
“In computing, an avatar is the graphical representation of the user or the user's alter ego or character. It may take either a three-dimensional form, as in games or virtual worlds, or a two-dimensional form as an icon in Internet forums and other online communities. It can also refer to a text construct found on early systems such as MUDs. It is an object representing the user. The term "avatar" can also refer to the personality connected with the screen name, or handle, of an Internet user.”
So at its most basic form, an avatar is a representation of a person.  One form of this is incorporated when playing RPGs.  When you play an RPG (role playing game) you are often faced with the task of creating a character, or avatar.  While some choose to just click the random button, and get on with the game, I would say that the majority of players take their time and customize their avatar to their liking.  I feel it is important to take your time with something you are going to have to play as for the rest of the game.  In some games such as “Second Life” the possibilities of your characters looks are endless.  Players start the game and make a character, the game lets you choose from different races and genders, and you can also choose play as a “Furry” which is an animal with a human like body, a robot, a vampire, werewolf, and oddly enough a vehicle, which I still don’t get.  If a person is talented enough, they can make their own character in a 3D design meshing program.  This is another way one can look and play how ever they want, and if a player isn’t skilled in making 3D models, the player can buy premade characters of just about anything made by others. 
This allows the player look however they want, which is good and bad.  This is good because the player can play as exactly who or what they want.  This is bad, because it makes it easier for someone to take advantage or mislead other players.  When watching the movie GAMER, and seeing the scenario of the morbidly obese male playing as the female character and using her as a toy for his own pleasure, I realized that this probably goes on in real life also.  Though it is a great feature to be able to fully customize our character and its appearance, it is very scary to think that the person playing that character might not be who you think they are. 
I took a survey of people who play RPGs and how they customize their characters.  I asked the people who said that they have played an RPG that had them make a character, how they designed their character to look and why.  One person said he plays as both males and females, when playing as a male, he makes his character resemble him if it’s a human, and for any other race, he makes his character look as awesome as he can.  When playing as a female, he tries to make her look hot, so he has something pleasing to look at as he plays.  This is how most guys think, if they play as a female, they want her to be pleasing to look at as possible.  I then asked if when playing the game, he acts as himself or how he thinks the character would, and he said that he plays as the character would, because he believes it add to everyone playing that games experience, but he never took advantage of another player.  I asked him if he has ever made someone believe he was his female character on purpose, and he said no, but he’s sure many people probably thought he was a girl by the way he played his character.  I asked another person the same questions.  He said he almost always plays as a male character, and designs him to look strong.  He most often plays as a warrior, or fighter class in RPGs so he tries to think ahead to plan out how his character should look as that class.  He also said when playing science fiction games, he will also often make his character have an unusual skin color, because it’s something different from the “norm” and he prefers to be original.  When playing the game he says he almost always plays as himself, and not how his character would because his characters almost always seem like jerks.  I also asked a female these same questions.  She said she has only played as a guy once because the game didn’t give the option to play as a girl, so she made her character look like her boyfriend because she couldn’t decide how he should look, and her boyfriend was in the room, so it was her easiest option.  When playing as female characters, she said she tries to make them look sexy, but at the same time look like they could kick any guys butt.  She said that she does this so that guys playing would give her free stuff, and also break the stereotype of female gamers being inferior.  She likes to be tough, and reinforce that she is a woman.  When I asked if she plays as she thinks her character would, she said yes, but she never inappropriately. 
I for one always play as a male because I think it’s weird when other people playing the game hit on you because you’re playing as a female character.  I usually try to make my character pretty ironic or funny, and then try to match skills to his appearance.  I take character creation very seriously, and always try to make everything about my character connected.  Sometimes I’ll even make up a storyline in the back of my head, and center my game play decisions around it.  An example of this is my “DC Universe Online” character named Kid Pistol, who I designed to look like a classic 90s kid, complete with a red T-shirt, blue jean shorts, high white sock, and red and blue sneakers and backpack.  The ironic part is I gave him the ability to use two.  In my head I made everything make sense because I made up a story for him to why he’s a villain and why he uses guns as his weapons, it was perfect.  Peoples reactions when they see a kid running around the would is already hilarious because you don’t often see people playing kid characters, then when I start fighting and pull out the duel hand cannons, then people realize he’s not just any kid, he’s a badass kid.  When playing RPGs, I almost always play as I think my character would act, mostly because I take pride in making them and love to play as them.
Games such as “Second Life” and “DC Universe Online” can be very fun, but they can also be dangerous.  Some people play “Second Life” more then they live their real life.  They use their avatars to life a false life.  Others play as opposite sex avatars for their own pleasure and act like someone or something they aren’t.  Others just like to play as someone different to temporarily escape from reality.  I choose to play video games to relax and have fun, but never lose site of reality.  When playing as one of my characters I just try to have fun.  Videogames should be for fun, not for false reality. 











David Levinson
English 114B
Professor Dinsmore
From Rags to Righteous: My Ironic Identity
            If you saw the way I dress, you might think that I’m weird, because it’s not everyday that you see someone wearing a Wolf Shirt.  The thing is, you are seeing my style, what you haven’t seen is my identity and history that has influenced it.  Space often influences how I dress, depending on if I’m going to school, the store, and even my house.  Not only does space influence my identity, but I also influence some spaces such as my room, house, online.  Identity doesn’t only apply to my physical attributes, but can also apply to media.  When on Facebook, I change my pictures, and account, and then pick who gets to see it.  Also if I’m playing an online game, I can change my identity to be whom ever I want.  My identity has an effect on so much more than just my life. 
            A question I get asked all the time is “What’s up with the wolf shirt?” because my shirts of choice have wolves on them.  Wolf shirts are usually acid washed, featuring at least one wolf in nature, usually howling at the moon.  Besides that, I believe I dress like a mostly normal person my age.  I normally wear cargo shorts, high black socks, vans, occasional snap back hat, and of course, big thick rimmed hipster “Ray-Ban” glasses.  When I meet new people, usually my wolf shirts are one of the first things they comment on.  To understand how they help to construct my identity, you must first know that wolf shirts were originally worn in the 80s, and were worn by middle, to lower class kids.  This was because in the 80s wolf shirts were sold at stores such as K-Mart and Walmart, and were sold very cheap.  I wear wolf shirts because not only because Walmart started selling them again at very low prices, but also because I love the look of them.  As one of the few people who still wear these types of shirts, I feel it helps me stick out from everyone who wears modern T-Shirts.  I believe these 80s shirts are making a comeback because fashion is 360 and people find modern style inspiration by looking at past styles.  Also when a style comes back into fashion, it seems to be ironic, especially wolf shirts.  What’s ironic about the wolf shirts I feel, is that back in the 80s, people used to wear wolf shirts because they couldn’t afford more expensive shirts, and now people who can afford better shirts are choosing to buy wolf shirts. I for one enjoy wearing these shirts because I feel a connection to the wilderness inside of me when I put on a wolf shirt, plus they’re really comfy.  These shirts help me show my identity because I, like the shirts, am very unique, and I am also very ironic, and have a joking personality.  My wolf shirts have helped me construct my physical identity, and have also helped me construct my identity online.
            One example of this is my Twitter username, “TheWolfShirtGuy.”  I felt this was a fairly accurate username.  Anyone who follows me on Twitter then knows me by that name.  Another example of this is my current Facebook profile picture.  The picture shows me in a wolf shirt, accompanied by three of my friends, also wearing a few of my wolf shirts, and all of us are howling at the moon.  We took the picture reenacting a common scene found on the shirts.  Wolf shirts are a big part of my identity right now in my life.  When people see my shirts, it’s possibly something they’ve never seen before, and for the people who have seen wolf shirts before, it probably isn’t something they see everyday.  I think that I feel such a strong bond with these shirts is because of how ironic and unique they are.  They also help people get a sneak peek at my personality before they even start talking to me.  Some people whom I’ve met since I started wearing wolf shirts even go as far as to call me “Wolf man”. 
            People who’ve known me since high school, back before I started wearing wolf shirts know me as David.  This is a prime example of identity construction.  Since I’ve started wearing wolf shirts, I’ve created an identity for myself, but I was known by my ironic style other ways in high school.  Back when I was in high school, I used to have long hair past my shoulders, and wear trucker hats.  I was also my high school’s mascot for four years, and got awarded most school spirit, so whenever I had the chance I would wear purple, black, and white, my school’s colors to support my school.  These days, I let my wolf shirts construct my identity.  Though my wolf shirts are a big part of my physical identity, believe it or not, that is not the only thing that makes up my identity.
            Location can also help construct your identity, depending on your location you might dress differently.  I dress differently when I’m at school from when I’m at home, or if I go to the store.  When at school, I dress in casual clothes, and wear tennis shoes, because I know I’ll be walking a lot.  I also dress on the more fashionable side because I never know who I might see.  When I go shopping at the store, I wear casual clothes, and very often slippers, because I like my feet being comfy as I shop and I don’t really care if people see me in them, plus then people see me for the “chill” guy I am.  Than usually, if I’m at home, I wear comfy clothes from top to bottom, because I’m probably just lounging around the house relaxing and I don’t care how people see me at home.  You also construct your identity within your personal space. 
            My identity is shown in my personal space, my room.  I construct my room to fit my personal identity.  What I believe shows my identity the best is in my room, is how I decorated it.  In my room, I have a chair that has my high school logo and name on it which is because I was very school spirited in high school and still take pride in that school.  On the walls of my room, I have two posters, one of a hula girl that says “ALOHA”, and one of the rapper Kid Cudi.  The hula girl shows part of my identity because the girl in the poster is exactly my type of girl.  This is not the same reason for the Kid Cudi poster, because he is a guy.  The Kid Cudi poster is a big tip off of my identity, because I feel many of his songs perfectly explain who I am.  I also have a “TOMS” shoes flag pinned up on my wall, which shows that I wear “TOMS” and I love organizations that help people in need.  I try to be very charitable towards many helpful organizations like “TOMS” and “Locks of Love”, the organization I donated my long hair to, my senior year of high school.  Another decoration I have in my room is a garden gnome who stands on top of my TV.  This is an inside joke between me and one of my friends, but it also shows how random I truly am.  On the floor I have my Xbox, which is obviously because I am a big video gamer, and have been playing games most of my life.  Our identities are often also influenced by our pasts.
Way back when I was younger, I’d play the original games on the original Gameboy, which is why I believe I turned out a gamer.  I believe history helps shape our identity.  Another example is how I used to love playing Frisbee outside with my Dad when I was younger, and now that I’m in college, I love playing Ultimate Frisbee.  Not all things that construct your identity are physical, one common form of identity construction that isn’t physical, is RPGs. 
            Some role playing games, or RPGs for short, have you make a character and then design how it looks.  When you make your character, you get to make them look however you want, within the games guidelines that is.  When I play online games I usually make a ridiculous looking character.  I try to make a very unusual looking character because then when I’m playing the game, people see my character running around, and it catches them off guard.  I believe this just reinforces the fact that I have a very ironic identity, I like to express this in RPGs.   Online games also give you the option of being the opposite sex.  This is when identity construction is crucial.  When you choose to play as the opposite sex, you are constructing your identity in a misleading way.  Some people play online games and choose to play as the opposite sex then their own, just to mislead people.  Some people might do this for a couple reasons, some guys play as girls so they can get free items from generous guys in the game.  Some girls play as guys because they don’t want to look weak and would rather be seen as a threat.  When playing videogames I usually play as a guy, but if I end up playing as a girl, I usually do it because the girl character has extra skill attributes, which makes her tougher than the guy characters giving me the upper hand over people playing as guys.  
            Identity construction can be your physical style, or it can be your style online, whether on a website like Facebook or Twitter, or on an online game where you make your own character.   Location can also influence our identity construction because it can influence how you dress and act.  You also construct your identity within your personal space, such as your room.  You get to decorate it how you want it to fit your personality.  Identity is such a huge part of who we are, it is a good thing there are many different ways to express yourself.


Bibliography
"Three Wolf Moon." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation. Web. 28 Apr. 2012.
"Roleplaying as the opposite Gender."
http://rpg.stackexchange.com/questions/11251/roleplaying-as-the-opposite-gender. Web. 28 Apr. 2012.
Delingpole, James. “Americans CAN do irony: Wolf Moon T shirt goes viral” The
            Telegraph. n.p., 22 May, 2009. Web. 11 May, 2012
Yu, Tim. “Why is Old School Fashion Repeating Itself?” Ezine @rticles. n.p., n.d. Web.
            11 May, 2012
Elguapo “The Complete Guide To Wolf Shirts”  Guidespot. n.p. 8 July 2009. Web. 11
            May, 2012

Monday, April 30, 2012

My Identity


David Levinson
English 114B
Professor Dinsmore
M/W 11:00
My Identity
            If you saw me walking down the street the way I dress, you might think that I’m weird.  The thing is, you are seeing my style, what you haven’t seen is my identity and history that has influenced it.  Space often influences how I dress too, depending on if I’m going to school, the store, and even my house.  Not only does space influence my identity, but I also influence some spaces such as my room, house, online.  Identity doesn’t only apply to my physical attributes, but can also apply to media.  When on Facebook, I change my pictures, and account, and then pick who gets to see it.  Also if I’m playing an online game, I can change my identity to be whom ever I want.  My identity has an effect on so much more then just my life. 
            “What’s up with the wolf shirt?” a question I get asked somewhat often, because my shirts of choice are wolf shirts.  Wolf shirts are usually acid washed, featuring at least one wolf in nature, usually howling at the moon.  Besides that, I believe I dress like a mostly normal person my age.  I normally wear cargo shorts, high black socks, vans, occasional snap back hat, and oh yea, big thick rimmed hipster “Ray-Ban” glasses.  When I meet new people, usually my wolf shirts are one of the first things they comment on.  To understand how they help to construct my identity, you must first know that wolf shirts were originally worn in the 80s, and were worn by middle, to lower class kids.  This was because in the 80s wolf shirts were sold at stores such as K-Mart and Walmart, and were sold very cheap.  I wear wolf shirts because not only because Walmart started selling them again at very low prices, but also because I love the look of them.  As one of the few people who still wear these types of shirts, I feel it helps me stick out from everyone who wears modern T-Shirts.  My wolf shirts have helped me construct my physical identity, and have also helped me construct my identity online.
            One example of this is my Twitter username, “TheWolfShirtGuy.”  Anyone who follows me on Twitter then knows me by that name.  Another example of this is my current Facebook profile picture.  The picture shows me in a wolf shirt, accompanied by three of my friends, also wearing a few of my wolf shirts, and all of us are howling at the moon.  Wolf shirts are a big part of my identity right now in my life.  Some people whom I’ve met since I started wearing wolf shirts even go as far as to call me “wolf man”. 
            People who’ve known me since high school, back before I started wearing wolf shirts know me as David.  This is a prime example of identity construction.  Since I’ve started wearing wolf shirts, I’ve created an identity for myself.  Though a big part of my physical identity is my wolf shirts, believe it or not, that is not the only thing that constructs my identity.
            Location can also help construct your identity, depending on your location you might dress differently.  I dress differently when I’m at school from when I’m at home, or if I go to the store.  When at school, I dress in casual clothes, and wear tennis shoes, because I know I’ll be walking a lot.  When I go shopping at the store, I wear casual clothes, and very often slippers, because I like my feet being comfy as I shop, and if I’m at home, I wear comfy clothes from top to bottom, because I’m probably just chilling around the house relaxing.  You also construct your identity within your personal space. 
            My identity is shown in my personal space, my room.  I construct my room to fit my personal identity.  I keep my room semi clean, besides a couple of scattered school textbooks.  My room is well lit, my bed is made and my desk is straitened up.  These characteristics show my identity a little bit, but mostly just my traits.  What I believe shows my identity the best is in my room, is how I decorated it.  In my room, I have a chair that has my high school logo on it, this helps to show that I am school spirited.  On the walls of my room, I have two posters, one of a hula girl that says “ALOHA”, and one of Kid Cudi.  I also have a “TOMS” shoes flag pinned up on my wall.  The posters show my identity because I like Kid Cudi’s music, and I believe hula girls are very cute, and the flag shows that I wear “TOMS” and I love organizations that help people in need.  Another decoration I have in my room is a garden gnome who stands on top of my TV.  This is an inside joke between me and one of my friends, but it also shows how random my identity truly is.  An Xbox 360 lies on the floor.  This adds video gamers to my identity list.  I’ve played video games all my life, and I also believe history can also help our identity construction.
            Way back when I was younger, I’d play Gameboy games on “the brick”, and I turned out a gamer.  I believe history helps shape our identity.  Another example is how I used to love playing Frisbee outside when I was younger, and now that I’m in college, I love playing Ultimate Frisbee.  Another example of identity construction is some online videogames. 
            Some online games have you make a character, and design how they look.  This is one more form of identity construction.  When you make your character, you get to make them look however you want, within the games guidelines that is.  When I play online games I usually make a ridiculous looking character.  I try to make a very unusual looking character because then when I’m playing the game, people see my character running around, and it catches them off guard.  Online games also give you the option of being the opposite sex.  This is when identity construction is crucial.  When you choose to play as the opposite sex, you are constructing your identity in a misleading way.  Some people play online games and choose to play as the opposite sex then their own just to mislead people.  Some people might do this for a couple reasons, some guys play as girls so they can get free items off of guys in the game.  Some girls play as guys because they don’t want to look weak.  When playing videogames I usually play as a guy, but if I end up playing as a girl, I usually do it because the girl character has extra skill attributes, which makes her tougher than the guy characters.  
            Identity construction can be your physical style, or it can be your style online, whether on a website like Facebook and twitter, or an online game where you make your character.   Location also helps identity construction because it can influence how you dress and act.  You also have identity construction in your personal space, such as your room.  You get to decorate it how you want it to fit your personality. 


Bibliography
"Three Wolf Moon." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation. Web. 28 Apr. 2012.

"Roleplaying as the opposite Gender." http://rpg.stackexchange.com/questions/11251/roleplaying-as-the-opposite-gender. Web. 28 Apr. 2012.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Essay Proposal Web, Space, and Text

For my essay, I will write about myself and my identity as a whole.  I will look in detail at how I construct my identity online and offline in real life.  I will also write about my room as a space and how I construct it to fit my identity.  When talking about identity construction online, I will talk about how I have my Facebook set up, and possible also talk about my identity as I construct it in games.  I will talk about what I have as visible to everyone on Facebook and what I have hidden.  I will also talk about what photos I have up on Facebook and what they say about my identity, especially my profile picture.  If I end up talking about my identities in online games, I will talk about what they say about my real life identity, and how my real life identity shows through my character.  When talking about my identity construction in real life, I will talk about what clothes I wear and why I choose to wear those.  I will talk about the shirts and pants I wear, as well as my glasses, hats, shoes, and socks.  I will talk about how I am affected by different spaces such as high school, at home, on the university campus, and when out with friends.  I will talk about my house as a space, and how my identity effects it, and also how it effects me.  Then I will talk about my room.  I will talk about how I decorated my room, and how it is influenced by my identity and how my identity influenced how it was decorated.  My essay will be about my identity in real life, on the web, and in online games.  I will discuss why each was constructed how it is, through my environment, experiences, and history. 

Monday, April 16, 2012

After I finished reading "As Nature Made Him" I couldn't stop thinking about how hard it had to have been for David growing up.  As the book progressed it was obvious that as David's life went on, the troubles didn't exactly go away easily.  All because of a freak accident David's and his whole family's life would never be the same.  It was very hard for me to read and get through this book and not only because of my reading level, but also because the book described many scenarios in great detail.  Gender construction played a very important role in this book, but not in the way that some other material we have used had.  In the movie Gamer, and the graphic novel Surrogates, the gender construction was very much focused on being who you want to be while in this book, the gender construction took place when David was growing up and being taught to act like and dress like a girl.  The thing I've noticed about gender construction is that it is almost always used to mask something.  In David's case it was used to mask a mistake and give him a normal life, then later in the book gender construction happens as David rejects being a female and returns to being a male. 

Sunday, April 8, 2012

This is going to be very painful...

So I started reading "As Nature Made Him" by John Colapinto.  The book started off pretty good, but almost too much like a love story for my liking, talking about his parents and how they grew up and met.  I was fine with this though, it was what came next that was hard for me to read.  The book continues to give foresight into what the book is about, a boy who had a botched circumcision and is forced to grow up as a girl.  The book goes into plenty of detail when talking about the boys circumcision.  I found myself reading and feeling light headed as I felt the pain of the boy.  This is when I knew it was going to be a very long book...  I pushed though my pain and continued to read.  I think it is very normal how the parents reacted at first being very worried of how David would grow up, and like it said in the very beginning of the book, his parents did what they thought was best for him out of kindness, love and desperation, and when you're desperate, you don't necessarily do all the right things.  I think it is very ironic that the doctor's name is Dr. Money because he was obsessed with David's circumstance and had David and his brother act differently than normal just for his theory and fame, and very possibly the wealth that came with it.  I for one think that your sex determines your gender, but how you grow up determines how you live. 

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Project Space: Neighborhood

My group is doing our project on our individual neighborhoods.  We will present our findings in a powerpoint presentation.  I live on the corner of Devonshire and Lindley.  As for my findings, I found that my neighborhood was ultimately a very school centered neighborhood.  Not just because I live close to CSUN, but because I live literally down the street from Granada Hills High School.  So my "hood" is very quiet, until school gets out then as kids get released from school and after school activities start, the neighborhood starts to become a little bit louder.  As I did my ethnography of the area, I observed a few things.  As the high school kids got out of school, many walked quite a bit before getting picked up.  Some walked up the street to Starbucks, and Ralphs to get drinks and snacks, and others walked to the parking lot to get picked up, I assume this is because there isn't much parking on the street.  Some other kids simply walk home because they live in the near by apartments.  Very soon after the school day was over for these students, I noticed a group of runners, most likely the track team or one of the sports teams, running laps around the school.  An observation I made not about the high school kids was that many people who live in these apartments don't even hassle with driving their car to the groceries store, and just walk to get their groceries.  Others, I assume are CSUN students because they have backpacks and ride their bikes and skateboards down the street towards the campus.  

Monday, March 12, 2012

Window Shopping

The other day I took a visit to the AV Mall.  I was walking around and was looking at the window displays.  I know that window displays are supposed to draw you into the store, but I feel there is almost always an under lying meaning.  One very key example is the display at Hollister.  Their display is actually not a window display, but an entrance display.  You walking into a little under a patio looking thing, with fake mini palm trees on either side on you, then the display of a shirtless surfer looking guy from ceiling to floor greets you.  So it is obvious that they are trying to draw girls in with the half naked guy, but I feel they are trying to tell guys that they need to look like that to wear their cloths.  Another example is Pharmacy Skate Shop's window display.  Their display has no mannequins, it is one big picture of a couple juvenile kids, one is tagging a railed wall, one kid grinding on the rail, even though the sign in the background says no skating, and the others are in the background just watching.  This picture is obviously supposed to draw in skaters, but I feel that they are trying to show a very rebellious side to skating.  Having many skater friends, I feel a lot of them were very rebellious like this, but to a lower extent.  One more example is Victoria's Secret.  Their display has pictures of women in nothing but lingerie.  Now might think because it is a female store this is meant to bring in women, but I believe that this is supposed to bring in guys to buy their girlfriends and wives lingerie.  I think that they are telling guys "the girl you are buying this for will look like this in our lingerie."  Next time you are window shopping, notice how the store draws you in and see if you match the description of who they are selling to.  You might be surprised. 

Sunday, March 4, 2012

RPGs FTW


It’s always nice to sit down to some nice videogames after a long day of school.  I believe that videogames are a great form of relaxation, and fun, but what happens when people take that too far?  What happens when people get sucked into the game so much that they seem to give up on reality?  What about people who use videogames as a form of a false life, the ones who “live” in game, more then they do in real life?  What about the people who take it a step further, and make a character of the opposite sex, then play as the character instead of as them self?  Who ever said videogames are harmless has another thing coming to them.
Some people play videogames now and then and keep a solid grasp on reality, but others some times take videogames to far and make one game their new life.  “Second Life” is a great example of this.  “Second Life” is what its title suggests, it is a second life for some.  This game allows you to do just about anything you can do in real life, and then some.  This is bad because some people get sucked into this game so much that they have to constantly play or they don’t feel like they are living. For some this is a very bad thing because they lose control of their health.  For others, like the disabled, this could be a good thing, because then they can play the game a way they aren’t able to live life, through their “avatar”.
The definition of “Avatar” shown on Wikipedia:
“In computing, an avatar is the graphical representation of the user or the user's alter ego or character. It may take either a three-dimensional form, as in games or virtual worlds, or a two-dimensional form as an icon in Internet forums and other online communities. It can also refer to a text construct found on early systems such as MUDs. It is an object representing the user. The term "avatar" can also refer to the personality connected with the screen name, or handle, of an Internet user.”
So at its most basic form, an avatar is a representation of a person.  When you play an RPG (role playing game) you are often faced with the task of creating a character, or avatar.  While some choose to just click the random button, and get on with the game, the majority of players take their time and customize their avatar to their liking.  I feel it is important to take your time with something you are going to have to play as for the rest of the game.  In some games such as “Second Life” the possibilities of your characters looks are endless.  Players start the game and make a character, which you can choose from different races and genders, but then you can also choose play as a “Furry” which is a humanized animal, a robot, a vampire or werewolf, and oddly enough a vehicle, which I still don’t get.  If a person is experienced enough, they can make their own character in a meshing program, to look and play how ever they want, and if a player isn’t skilled in making mesh models, the player can buy premade character of just about anything. 
This allows the player look however they want, which is good and bad.  This is good because the player can play as exactly who they want.  This is bad, because it makes it easier for someone to take advantage of other players.  When watching the movie GAMER, and seeing the scenario of the morbidly obese male playing as the female character and using her as a toy for his own pleasure, I realized that this probably goes on in real life also.  Though it is a great feature to be able to fully customize our character and its appearance, it is very scary to think that the person playing that character isn’t who you think they are. 
I took a survey of people who play RPGs and how they customize their characters.  I asked the people who said that they have played an RPG that had them make a character, how they designed their character to look and why.  One person said he plays as both males and females, when playing a male, he makes his character resemble him if it’s a human, and for any other race makes his character look as awesome as he can.  When playing as a female, he tries to make her look hot, so he has something pleasing to look at as he plays.  I then asked if when playing the game, he acts as himself or how he thinks the character would, and he said that he plays as the character would.  I asked him if he has ever made someone believe he was his female character on purpose, and he said no, but he’s sure many people probably thought he was a girl by the way he played his character.  I asked another person the same questions.  He said he almost always plays as a male character, and gives him average muscles.  He most often plays as a warrior, or fighter class in RPGs so he tries to think ahead to plan out how his character should look as that class.  He also said when playing science fiction games, he will also often make his character have an unusual skin color, because it’s something different from the “norm”.  When playing he says he almost always plays as himself, and not how his character would.  I also asked a female these same questions.  She said she only played as a guy once because the game restricted playing as a girl, and she make him look like her boyfriend because she couldn’t decide what he should look like and her boyfriend was in the room, so it was her easiest option.  When playing as female characters, she said she tries to make them look sexy, but at the same time look like they could kick any guys butt.  She said that she does this so that guys playing would give her free stuff, and also break the stereotype of female gamers being inferior.  When I asked if she plays as her character, she said yes, but she never makes it inappropriate. 
I for one always play as a male because I think its weird when people in the game hit on you because you’re playing a female character.  I usually try to make my character pretty absurd or funny, and then try to match skills to his appearance.  I always try to make everything connected with my character.  An example is my “DC Universe Online” character Kid Pistol, who I designed to look like a classic 90s kid, with a T-shirt, high jean shorts, high sock, sneakers and a back pack.  I gave him the ability to use two pistols so he had that absurd factor.  In my head I made everything make sense because I made up a story for him to why he’s a villain and why he uses guns as his weapons, it was perfect.  Peoples reactions when they see a kid running around the would is already hilarious because you don’t often see people playing kid characters, then when I start fighting and pull out the duel hand cannons, then people realize he’s not just any kid, he’s a badass kid.  When playing RPGs, I usually play as I think my character would act, mostly because I make them with there personalities already in mind.  That way as I play I have a sort of basis to my actions. 
Games such as “Second Life” and “DC Universe Online” can be very fun, but they can also be dangerous.  Some people play “Second Life” more then they live their real life.  They use their avatars to life a false life.  Others play as opposite sex avatars for their own pleasure and act like someone or something they aren’t.  Others just like to play as someone different to temporarily escape from reality.  I choose to play through a story different then my own.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Project Space: Orange Groves

My group is doing our project space on the orange groves at CSUN.  The grove is used recreationally because it is a place where you can just walk and think, but there is also a duck pond with ducks, turtles, and fish too!  Within the groves there's also an observatory, which is used for learning about the solar system.  It is a very unpopulated place, and is very quiet besides the occasional car driving by or duck quack.  I believe that the grove serves its purpose on campus because it provides a place to get away, and also provides oranges.  As for it feeling like a CSUN facility, besides the observatory, not very much.  I feel this space is out of place in a fast pace community such as Los Angeles.  It's history makes it fit in though.  Online it says that all of CSUN was once different farming groves, and when they started to build CSUN, to preserve the land, they kept the orange groves.  Some other observations I had while walking through the groves was that at the back side, there is a building called "The Northridge Club" which I assume is used for banquets and parties.  Another observation I had was that by the duck pond you can pay 25 cents to get a handful of food for the animals in the pond. 

My space as a whole is a condo apartment I share with a friend from high school, 2 of his fraternity brothers, and one of their girlfriends.  The apartment is mostly clean, besides the kitchen, where you can find dirty dishes.  There is a living room with 3 couches, and a TV.  I share a bathroom with 2 housemates, but we keep that clean.  As for their rooms, I don't really know, but as for my room, I keep it clean.  There is a closet, a computer desk, printer, chair, nightstand, and bed.  My room also contains 2 posters, a TOMS shoes flag, and 4 lights, so it is very well lit. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Essay Proposal

I'm going to write based on the suggestions numbers 1 & 2.  I'll further explore the blog on RPGs.  I'll do an ethnography of those who play CoD, and Sims, and if they were to make avatars, find out how they'd make them look.  I will also further examine Waggonner's essay to find more examples and help explain some terms he used.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Gamer Girls... Maybe not...

After watching the movie "Gamer" I saw that a lot of the actions in the movie were based on events that actually take place in real life.  One I'd like to focus on is the action of males taking the role of female characters in the game.  You see this in the movie when a real guy plays the role of Cable's wife in "Society," a virtual reality world where you control an "avatar," who is actually a human person with out control, and do what seems like just about anything.  This guy, who is a poor accuse for a "guy," is morbidly obese to the point where he needs a motorized wheelchair to get around, and is very disgusting as to how he lives in general, showing a severe lack in personal hygiene, and health.  This "guy" plays as Cable's wife, after she sold herself to the system.  She is a  character who is a normal looking woman among the world of "Society."  What he does to her is just outrageous though.  He controls her in a very perverse way, pretty much making her a hoe.  He approaches a male character as her, and flirts with him as his character, now keep in mind that this "guy" has no idea whether it is a guy or girl playing the other male character, then the male character proceeded to practically rape the female character.  This is how the "guy" gets off.  Now obviously this exact thing doesn't happen in real life, because people don't actually play real people in games, but some people playing the role of an opposite sex character does happen often.  An example of this is my friend, who is male, who almost always plays as a female character.  Before you start freaking out, there is nothing wrong with his brain, and he doesn't use this in a inappropriate way.  He does this because in some MMORPGs he plays, some male characters will often gift free items to female characters in hopes of something in return.  Luckily my friend knows better then that, and he just uses it to cash in.  

Sunday, February 5, 2012

MOST BADASS KID EVER!!!!

            I read “Videogames, Avatars, and Identity” as a gamer, who plays many RPGs and have many different “Identities” or “Avatars.”  So while reading I was thinking about how some people play games to escape their real life, so what better way then to start a new life in a game whether it be “Second Life” or “WoW.”  As a gamer, I have never been so hooked on a game to the point that I get addicted and start living in game more then my real life.  This being said, RPGs, or Role Playing Games, are some of my favorite type of games, especially Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games, or MMORPGs.  I feel that when I play RPGs and make a character, I try to make that character look either really badass, funny, ridiculous, or look as close to me possible.  An example of the first 3 is my DC Universe Online character.  This game has you make a character who is either a superhero or super villain (which effects your story line, either good or evil), and you get to pick their powers and design their costume, to potentially make them look like anything, from a person who's just running around in their underwear or someone fully decked out in a futuristic mech suit.  You can customize body types such as tall, short, or average, weight such as heavy, skinny, or average, you can choose male or female,  you can choose different types or skin like, but not limited to fur, lava, metal, zombie, or normal flesh, you can choose different facial structures and age, customize hair and you can change the color of anything, I just listed. Obviously I picked villain because life is more fun when you don’t constantly have to be saving people, and I designed my character to be a perfect trifecta of badass, funny, and ridiculous.  He looks like a classic 90s looking kid, who looks to be about 10 years old, decked out with a red T-shirt, blue jean shorts, high white socks, sneakers, and of course a tiny back pack.  This makes him funny because people in the game often make adult looking characters, and don’t very often see a kid running around.  The fact that he is a villain makes him ridiculous, but on top of that he’s badass because he uses 2 hand guns as his weapons.  His name is Kid Pistol, which is a shame because after naming him that I realized Young Gun would’ve suited him just as well.  Kid Pistol is the perfect character in my mind because he is the trifecta of badass, funny, and ridiculous, and some might even say ironic.  I love running around the game world and people saying “WTF?!?! A kid?!?!” then getting their mind blown (figuratively, and also sometimes literally) when I pull out my duel hand cannons.  I feel in DC Universe Online, avatars are really just used to add to your experience in the game being able to put a face to a name, but also to help your interactions with people online, which Kid Pistol defiantly does.  In other games such as Skyrim, or Fallout 3 the character designs aren’t as important because you’re really the only one who sees it since these games aren’t online.  Don’t get me wrong though, I still enjoy the freak out of making my characters look badass, but it seems there isn’t much a purpose past the character customization menu.  Once you make your character, the only time you actually see it is when interacting with something in the world, or when you look at your character.  Also most the time within the first hour of game play you already find armor that just ends up covering up your character anyways.  One of the only reasons I could think of for the game makers to have you make your own character is so you feel more attached to it.  Maybe its because you took the time to make them just like you wanted, so you don't want to see it die.  When I'm playing I don't think that way, but I can see some people thinking like that.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Cultural Logic of "Myspace or Facebook?" Analysis

After reading this article, http://moodle.csun.edu/file.php/30273/Implications_of_User_Choice_-_boyd.pdf  I felt like I could relate to what some of the teens were saying about why they made the switch but I will come back to this in a little.  My history with Myspace was a fairly short one.  I created an account after seeing both my older brothers going on, and so I thought it was so cool.  I went on as often as possible for about a week, then I assume one of my brothers told my dad about me having an account, and was having none of that.  He made me delete my account and told me I wasn't aloud on Myspace anymore because I was too young.  So for a couple years I never went on, and just heard stories of my friends talking about it, but when the time came that I was a little older then my brothers when they made a Myspace account, and I thought I was old enough, I made another account.  I thought I was so cool, because I had my own page people could go to and talk with me, and I spent a whole night looking for a perfect picture to set as my background, IT WAS DOPE!  This time I probably lasted maybe three months, then my dad caught wind that I was logging on again, and he flipped out again.  This didn't makE any sense to me because I was older then my brothers were, and he didn't care the slightest that they had a Myspace, and got on regularly.  So once again, I had to delete my account, but this time it hurt more because I spent so much time making it perfect.  Then lots of time pasts and I hear of a site called Facebook.  I hesitated to make an account for about a year, then Junior year of high school came and I thought "How am I going to keep in touch with all my Senior friends who are going off to college?"  You already know that I felt I REALLY needed Facebook for this.  So I made an account and made an account, and set up my profile page, which was surprisingly a lot easier to do then on Myspace.  This time I was sure to tell my brothers not to tell dad.  I logged on for about a year, and told my mom that I had made an account so she wouldn't be surprised if my dad found out.  Needless to say, I should've known that she would tell my dad.  So my dad found out and lectured me for about an hour about it, and still said I was too young.  At this point I pretty much said this is BS, and just continued logging on, and didn't really care what he thought anymore.  So still to this day, even as I type, I have Facebook open in another tab. :P  So after that story it is obvious that I didn't have the "normal" experience with social networking sites.  After all is said and done with Myspace and I, I see where the teens in the article were coming from.  I see why one might say it is a "ghetto'er" site then Facebook, because most the people I knew who were on Myspace alot at the time, were the type of people who tried acting "ghetto" all the time, and were always listening to rap or hip hop constantly.  Myspace was definitely, and too this day I believe is still better then Facebook with the whole music page thing.  My friend Travis and I started a band, and we made a band page on both sites.  While the one on Facebook gets a ton more views then the Myspace one, the Myspace one was a lot easier to make.  Now when it comes to profile pages, my Myspace page was tricked out top to bottom.  Myspace definitely allowed more customization of profile pages, but I felt it was extremely difficult to set up and use.  Facebook on the other hand allows very little customization of profile pages, but are extremely easy to set up and use.  On Facebook my profile is set up with profile pictures, which all depict me in a decent manner, are visible to everyone, while my more "wild" personal pictures can only be viewed by friends.  Also my post can only be seen by friends.  I do this so that people can see who I am before they send a friends request just to make sure they know me.  I believe it is also very important to self regulate what you post online, and what is posted about you and meant for you.